So, I have to say, I was getting quite cocky recently about my vagina progress. I kept doing homework with my dilators, and it got easier every time. I discovered that using a vibrator for dilation was also extremely helpful (not because it was arousing, but more so because it seems to confuse my muscles and they don’t know what else to do but relax!). So, I was trucking along, and feeling more and more confident.
And then I did homework last night, and although I didn’t have a huge setback, I still had more pain than I was used to, and some pretty significant difficulties with Big Red (my current dildo of choice). It was really, really difficult not to just try and “push through” the pain, but I kept hearing the voice of my pelvic physiotherapist saying, “Don’t let the pain be any more than 4 out of 10.” And at some points, it was definitely more than 4 out of 10.
Before starting pelvic floor physiotherapy, I had more than my share of doctors and/or therapists tell me that I just needed to “push past” the pain, and eventually it would get easier. That’s a very hard mindset to get out of. But I’m really starting to believe that if I cause my poor va-jay-jay some pain, she’s going to be less cooperative the next time around.
In fact, when I think about it. The last few times I did homework, there was definitely some pain that I just pushed through, and it has me wondering if that’s why it escalated this time. Do I need to be listening to what my vagina’s saying a bit more carefully? No one likes to be ignored, and clearly my vagina knows what will get my attention.
Ok, va-jay-jay – I get it. No more pushing past the pain. I promise.