Too Much Information?

Wanna know my biggest pet peeve?

“When are you guys going to have kids?”

I know people mean well, and I know that they are just curious.  I get that.  But it does get exhausting making the same paper-thin excuses.  I can only tell people that “we’re  taking time to travel first” or “I’m still figuring out what to be when I grow up” or “there are still things we want to do personally” for so long.

What I really want to say is, “Well, the truth is, my vagina is being a bit of a scaredy-cat.  In fact, she’s such a scaredy cat that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with hubby’s penis, and has a panic attack anytime  it comes near here, making it fairly difficult for us to pro-create.  Yes, we’re working on this.  Yes, I’m in therapy.  Yes, I know it sounds unreal.  Yes, it is unbelievably frustrating. And having you remind me that we’re NOT having kids yet, (or even sex at all), really does help the situation. Thank you for that.”


It might be time for me to stop referring to my va-jay-jay as a scaredy cat. I’m sure that’s not helping things.

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2 Responses to Too Much Information?

  1. annie says:

    oh girl. i feel you. like 100%. no, like 1,000%.

    and before i had the on-again-off-again pain issue, it would have been biologically possible for us to have kids, because i probably CAN procreate. but the thing is, it just hasn’t been the right time. and that’s not me making thin excuses, that’s me being honest. because i’m not down with getting pregnant when i’m super stressed in grad school. i’m also not down with getting pregnant while waitressing without health insurance because i can’t get a job out of grad school.

    i don’t know about you, but i’m running out of friends who don’t have kids, and it’s super duper depressing. their lives are changing and we have little to talk about anymore, and i moved to another state, and so i don’t talk to them about my vagina, and so they don’t get it why we don’t have kids.

    my thing is this … even if i had no vag issues, how do they know whether i CAN have kids or not?? i mean, what if i’d had 3 miscarriages, and desperately WANT kids, but my body wouldn’t keep them?? that’s a HELLUVA good reason to not have kids, but not something you’d broadcast.

    i’ve decided that asking about kids is not something people should do unless they’re close to the person they’re asking. like comfortable-talking-about-your-sex-life close.

  2. eccentrictulip says:

    I agree! I NEVER ask people about their plans for kids anymore, specifically for that reason. I knew someone who had been having miscarriage after miscarriage and it was just heartbreaking for her to be asked all the time when they were having kids. Definitely not cool.

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