Well, I think it’s time to stop putting it off. It’s time to write my first post on The Eccentric Tulip.
In all honesty, I think I’ve been putting it off because I don’t really know where to start. My original plan was to start at the beginning, but I don’t even really know where that is. I’ve been living with vaginismus for pretty much my whole (sexually-active) life. I don’t remember a specific instance when I suddenly realized I had these vagina troubles. They’ve just always been there. I wasn’t raped or molested. I never had any sexual “trauma”.
But I’ve never had sex. I’ve gotten to the point at times when I didn’t even care about having sex (and I tell you, my husband loved that…..ahem….).
So, maybe it’s more important to start with where I am now. I just turned 32. For the past 6 months or so, I’ve come leaps and bounds along the road to having sex. I spent many years ignoring the issues, and on the odd occasions when I was ready to face my demons, I couldn’t seem to find the right help. And then last year, everything seemed to click into place.
I had been seeing a counselor for anxiety and stress-related issues (more on that later, I’m sure) and she referred me and my husband to a local sex therapist who was reputably one of the best in town. That sex therapist then referred me to a local pelvic physiotherapist. This team of professionals has literally been “the answer”, not to mention my personal cheerleading section. I still haven’t had sex, but I’m getting closer every day.
I see my pelvic physiotherapist once a week or so, and I do “homework” on my own in between visits. My husband and I see our sex therapist every 3 weeks or so, and I see my counselor every 2-3 weeks. I’m confident that with this team of professionals behind me, and my husband’s understanding and dedication backing me, we’ll be on the road to baby-making soon!
And so, here’s to my blogging journey! I’m not sure how frequently I’ll write, but I feel like I have so much to say about all this, especially if I look back on the years and years that I’ve spent struggling and trying to find a solution. It’s my intention to approach writing about this with honesty, positivity and humour so that the issues of vaginismus and vulvodynia become more accessible and less scary. Please feel free to comment (anonymously or otherwise) and/or contact me directly, as I would love to hear from you!