Well – it works!
In my last post, I mentioned that I had ordered a new toy from Womyn’s Ware, at the request of my pelvic physiotherapist. Hubby and I picked out a charming metallic blue silicone dildo, that looked to be one size up from dilator #6 but not quite as “OH MY GOD” as size #7. I chose to go with the fancy blue one ’cause it just seemed….icky….to order a toy that’s skin-coloured, y’know?
Anyways, when we left off, I was about to head into my physio appointment with the new blue toy tucked discreetly in my purse. And I’m pleased to report – it wasn’t horrifying!! It was definitely interesting to work with something a bit bigger and more “lifelike,” complete with a few bumps and ridges. But all things considered, it actually went in quite easily.
My physiotherapist was pretty cute about the whole thing. She’s already one of the most adorable people on the planet, but her face just lit up when I got the whole thing inside me – and easily. I think she expected me to be a bit more elated, but as someone who gets easily worked up and tense due to any strong emotion – happy, sad, thrilled, angry – I tried to remain calm and relaxed. I knew that if I actually spent a few seconds to consider what was happening, I probably would have burst into tears.
So, instead of doing that in her office, I did that on my drive home. Tears of joy, mind you. 6 months ago, I never would have thought that I could have gotten to this point. Never.
Anyways, my physio and I decided that my toy needed a name (other than “giant blue dildo”). Hubby somehow started referring to it as the “blue monster.” I jokingly suggested the “cookie monster,” which is somehow ridiculous and fitting at the same time. It’s light-hearted and a bit twisted, just like me.
I think it’ll stick.